One lovely evening, I was enjoying dinner with some friends at a restaurant. We had just ordered some delicious appetizers when a gorgeous woman approached our group, walking with a graceful and confident demeanor. I couldn’t help but admire her flowing dark hair and charming, round brown eyes. She was truly stunning.
“Hey there, Jessica. How are you doing?” She greeted one of my friends with her warm and friendly voice. “Thanks for having me here.”
When we sat down for dinner, I was excited to be seated next to her. I greatly enjoyed our conversation and listening to her talk with others. As we ate our meals, I couldn’t help but think how much I liked her. She is funny, stylish, well-educated, and shares my faith in Jesus! These were all the qualities I was looking for in a life partner.
By the end of the evening, I had a feeling that my single life was coming to an end. I was pretty sure she felt the same way about me too. I told my friends, “I found my dream wife! She's amazing!” I even found myself humming “Love is in the air, everywhere I look around…” as I walked around that night.
I really wanted to ask this girl out, but I didn’t want to come on too strong, so I waited a bit before sending her a text. She replied, No, thank you. “I don’t date strangers.”
I looked at her message with a bit of confusion, and I texted back, “Hey, don’t you remember? We actually had dinner together.” Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to be willing to reconsider.
I was confident that if she got to know me better, she would change her mind. So, in the following weeks, I sent her a few friendly texts and some handmade cards. When we unexpectedly crossed paths one evening, I was thrilled to see her again and invited her to a BBQ with some friends. She kindly declined but made it clear that she wasn’t interested in starting a relationship with me.
I was crushed. Once again, a woman I really liked chose not to give me a chance. I would have to continue my life as a single person, waiting to find the right woman to spend my life with. I believed I had been single for far too long—much longer than I had planned. I was confused and asked myself many painful questions:
Perhaps you have asked yourself some or all of these questions, and you are not alone. The good news is that God has a plan for you.
A lot of people believe that being in a relationship or getting married is the ultimate goal in life. This belief is perpetuated by the media, social norms, and even religious teachings. It can be really tough to feel like you have failed in some way if you are not in a relationship or married by a certain age. And those feelings of inadequacy and shame can make you feel like being single is a punishment.
Nothing is further from the truth. Many positive aspects of being single are often overlooked. So don’t let societal pressure make you feel like you are not good enough just because you are not in a relationship. You are amazing just the way you are.
It is unfortunately all too common for single people to feel excluded or left out of social events and to feel like they are not fully accepted by their peers or society. Some may even feel like they are deficient or flawed simply because they are not in a relationship.
However, by focusing on personal growth, pursuing passions and interests, and building meaningful relationships with friends and family, we can find deep fulfillment and joy in our singlehood.
Also, you don’t remain single because of past sins. You may have wondered if you didn’t obey God somewhere, and now this is my fate. That’s why he is angry with me. Not at all. You are not stuck because of something you did wrong.
According to the Bible, singleness can be a gift from God. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul writes that being single can allow for undivided devotion to the Lord and can be a way to serve God without the distractions and responsibilities that come with being married. This doesn’t mean that marriage is bad, but it does mean that being single can be just as valuable and meaningful as being in a relationship.
So, if you are feeling down about your relationship status, remember that being single can be an opportunity to focus on your relationship with God and serve Him in unique ways.
Being single is a valuable state that can be a gift from God. I urge you to challenge societal beliefs and focus on what you can do. Remember that your worth comes from God, not whether or not you are in a relationship. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
As a single person, you have the freedom to pursue personal growth and interests without the responsibilities of a relationship. This can include pursuing personal interests, hobbies, and passions, as well as building a strong sense of self and identity.
Single people also have more flexibility in terms of their time and resources, allowing them to travel, take on new challenges, and explore new opportunities.
Personal experiences and stories of individuals who have found fulfillment and growth in their singlehood are abundant. Many people report feeling empowered by their ability to make their own choices and live life on their own terms.
Others have found deep meaning and purpose in pursuing their passions and interests, and have developed strong relationships with friends and family members.
Still others have found fulfillment in serving others and giving back to their communities.
To develop a strong sense of self and identity, one must engage in self-exploration. This can be achieved through activities such as journaling, meditation, and seeking feedback from trusted individuals.
Additionally, it is important to understand one’s values and beliefs, as this can help shape one’s identity.
This process of self-discovery can be ongoing, and one’s sense of self may evolve over time as they gain new experiences and perspectives.
Building meaningful relationships with friends and family is important for our emotional well-being. Studies show that individuals with strong social support systems have better mental health, lower stress levels, and a higher quality of life.
Spending quality time with loved ones, engaging in shared activities, and maintaining open communication are all ways to foster these important relationships.
Being single means you can focus on your career and professional goals without having to balance a relationship as well. You can take on more responsibilities at work, pursue higher education, and devote time to building your own personal brand. Additionally, you can explore your passions and hobbies without feeling guilty for not spending enough time with a partner.
Being single also provides an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. You have more time to evaluate your own needs and wants, and to work on becoming the best version of yourself. This can lead to increased confidence and self-assurance, making you a more attractive partner in the future.
Being single means you can travel to new places and explore the world without having to consider someone else's schedule or preferences.
Being single means you have more control over your finances and can save or spend your money as you see fit. By focusing on these positive aspects of being single, you can cultivate contentment and joy in your singlehood while also remaining open to the possibility of future relationships.
What is God’s will in all that? Doesn’t he want me to marry him or her?
From a biblical point of view, being single is pretty awesome. It’s like a gift and a chance to do things for God. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says that being single lets you totally focus on God, and you can serve him without any annoying distractions that come with having a spouse. Even Jesus was single, and being single worked out great for people like Elijah and John the Baptist, too.
Ultimately, being single can be a blessing if you choose to see it that way. Rather than focusing on the negative stigma around being single, you can celebrate the potential benefits and opportunities that come with this unique state of being. By pursuing personal growth and fulfillment, serving others, and living a life of purpose and meaning, we can find deep fulfillment and joy in our singlehood.
To quote Paul:
Now, as a concession, not a command, I say this: I wish that all were as I am. But each has his gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. — 1 Corinthians 7:6–8
Paul, the founder of the vast majority of the early churches, and the one who wrote two-thirds of the New Testament, was pro-single and encouraged singles to follow his example.
Soak that in for a minute: being single is not inferior to being married, nor is there anything evil to avoid. Being single is good.
It is important to keep in mind that our relationship status is not a punishment or a blessing, but rather a part of God’s unique plan for our lives. He has a specific purpose for each of us, and our relationship status is just one aspect of that plan. Instead of worrying about whether being single is good or bad, we should focus on understanding God’s will for our lives.
And that’s the struggle. Isn’t there a dichotomy between wanting to let go if being single is God’s will, but also wanting to hold onto hope because being married is what you want? The whole “not my will but thine” is an immense struggle.
Even if His plan doesn’t align with our own desires, we can trust that it’s always good. So let’s seek God’s guidance, cultivate contentment and joy in our singlehood, and trust in His timing and purpose for our lives.
How can we do that? Well, we must ask God for some help. We need to get down on our knees to pray, meditate, and reflect on what He says. That way, we can get some clarity and know which way He wants us to go. Don't forget, though, that God's plans might not always be the same as what we want. But if we just trust Him and His timing, we can find peace and be happy no matter what’s going on in our lives.
I want you to know that wherever you are on your journey, you are not alone. It’s okay to feel frustrated, lonely, or unsure about your future. But I want to encourage you to challenge those negative thoughts and seek God's guidance in all areas of your life.
Remember, your worth and value come from God, not from whether or not you're in a relationship. Focus on cultivating joy and fulfillment in your singlehood while remaining open to potential future relationships.
And finally, I want to leave you with this: the best is yet to come, whether you find a life partner or not. You have so much to offer the world, and God has an amazing plan for your life.
Unlock Meaning has been featured in FeedSpot’s Top 25 Single Life Blogs.