Healing Heartbreak: Steps To Finding Real Happiness

September 9, 2023
Healing Heartbreak: Steps To Finding Real Happiness

Dealing with a heartbreak is a lot of work. If you are reading this, you probably need some guidance about handling this difficult life situation. In the first part of this blog, you read about how to move on, and start working towards getting over the heartbreak. You probably realized -

  • Failing sucks
  • God heals your hardened heart
  • You need to overcome self-pity

Today, you will learn some more action steps that would help you overcome heartbreak and ultimately find real happiness. Here we go!

Healing Heartbreak: How to Move On and Find Real Happiness

Your healing process begins when you FORGIVE those who have wronged you, LOVE those who hate you, and PRAY for those who prey on you.

— Unknown


To fully heal after a breakup, I had to forgive both my ex and myself. Forgiving myself was surprisingly difficult and took time for my heart to believe in. Carrying the burden of failure for so long made it hard to release. But with patience and time, I could finally feel the self-forgiveness in my heart and move on. David describes this process in a Psalm.

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. 
— Psalm 32:1-2

Forgiveness starts with the knowledge God forgives. If you repent, God will forgive you. He promised it:

You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. 
— Micah 7:19

Many centuries later, Paul comments again on God’s forgiveness, reminding us of this liberating truth:

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 
— Romans 8:1

In that passage, the small, two-letter word “no” changes everything. There is “no condemnation” because Jesus has forgiven us.

The Bible teaches that God forgives all our sins, as David and Paul both believed. Instead of shaming us for our mistakes and failures, God wants to uplift us and restore our souls. The enemy tries to push us down, but he cannot snatch us from God’s hand. He wants us to believe that we are flawed, but we are God’s children.

Action step

God wants to make us whole again. If you feel there is someone you have not forgiven, consciously take time to forgive the person who hurt you. If you feel you have already forgiven, reflect on your forgiveness. Have you forgiven completely? Or is there any specific transgression you are still holding against someone else or yourself? If so, you may want to use this prayer by Debbie Przybylsk to let God know you want to forgive everyone completely — including yourself — and that you need His help:

Dear Lord,

I thank You for the power of forgiveness, and I choose to forgive everyone who has hurt me. Help me set [name anyone who has offended you] free and release them to You [Romans 12:19]. Help me bless those who have hurt me [Romans 12:14]. Help me walk in righteousness, peace, and joy, demonstrating Your life here on earth. I choose to be kind and compassionate, forgiving others, just as You forgave me [Ephesians 4:32].

In Jesus’s name, amen.

— Debbie Przybylski, Founder of Intercessors Arise International

When God forgives us, He forgets all our sins by casting them far away, including every wrong we have ever done, without exception or size limit. God throws them into the depths of the sea and completely forgives us for them.

Consider Counseling

Fortunately, God held his protecting hand over me and guided me through my three-year healing process.

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise. 
— Micah 7:8

Like the prophet Micah, I resolved to rise again — to date other women — and so decided to see a counselor. For my friends, this came as a surprise. I belonged to a group of men who had a low opinion of counseling, saying things like, “Why would I ever do such a thing? That’s not for me, only for girls and those who have some serious issues.” Now I see how short-sighted our views were.

Today I am a big fan of counseling because it has been a substantial part of my emotional healing process and has helped me become a better person. I am so grateful for the counselors, both professionals and caring friends, who have walked beside me, taught me much, and helped me heal. I would never be where I am today without them.

Counseling enabled me to process my relationship with Lauren and learn from it. And the lessons I learned made me stronger than before. Although our relationship was unsuccessful in that we didn’t end up getting married, I do not view it as a failure. In my eyes, failure only occurs when we don’t try our hardest and just play it safe. If we take courage, fix the broken things, and learn from our past experiences, we succeed. I like this verse from Proverbs:

The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. 
— Proverbs 24:16 (NLT)

Action step

So, if an unsuccessful relationship has caused you to trip and fall, don’t stay down. Get up, fix whatever broke, and then move forward. Never play it safe. Get off your couch and go find the roses.

Remind Yourself That God is Good

If you doubt God is good, He will prove it to you, over and over again. This is another critical step of your healing: Remember that God is good to you — and everyone — all the time.

We have all been in relationships that didn’t quite work out. But, let’s not call these failures, because that just brings us down and makes us lose hope.

Instead, let’s get back up after a less-than-successful relationship and get ready for some healing change. As leadership coach Robin Sharma once said, “All change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and it’s gorgeous at the end.” And once you have gone through the sometimes painful healing process, you will find yourself in the beautiful, peaceful place that David described:

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
— Psalm 23:5-6

Final Thoughts: You Can Heal Your Wounds

Healing from past relationships can be a difficult and painful process, but it is one that is necessary for moving forward and finding happiness. Remember to seek God’s guidance, forgive yourself and others, and consider seeking counseling if needed.

By taking these steps, you can heal your wounds and prepare yourself for a brighter future. You need to be healthy to live for something greater than yourself.

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