Feeling lonely lately? It’s natural to feel down when we’re single. But don’t worry. I’m going to show you how to reject loneliness and trigger happiness in your single life using simple techniques that have worked for me and thousands of others.
It’s time to start living a happy single life.
Let me start with a beautiful story.
One day, a grandfather told his grandson a compelling story about two wolves. He looks into the eyes of the small boy and says:
There are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle.
One is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred, and fear.
The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second, then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”
The grandfather quietly replies, “The one you feed.”
Being single is not easy. Correct? Have you been wondering, “how in the world am I going to manage to be a happy single?” I have discovered, reading the story about the wolves story, that I must fight to feed the good wolf if I want to overcome my feelings of loneliness.
“How can I overcome this overwhelming challenge of being single and lonely?” I have wondered countless times.
Many single men and women told me: “I’m feeling so lonely!” It seems to be a general issue. I have experienced it — as if I’ve been the last Mohican. All by myself.
Once my good friends started dating, their desire to hang out and do activities with other friends dwindled.
Does it sound familiar to you?
How are you overcoming the frustrations linked to it?
In this article, I want to show you why singleness does not equal loneliness. And how I moved from a state of survival and struggling — or feeding my bad wolf representing loneliness — to a fulfilled and happy life. I did not need any magical formula. And what I did is within your reach, too — right now.
Do you want to discover how to live a life of kindness, bravery, love, and happiness? Here’s how I feed the good wolf.
In this process, I realized there are great and challenging things no matter the season I’m in. What I discovered — when the going gets tough — is that I focus too much on my circumstances. Can I change them? Not at all. It’s a waste of energy to try.
The key is focusing less on the unchangeable — my circumstances — and more on the changeable. Or in other words, I had to learn to focus on what I can influence. It’s pretty simple. I can change my focus. And that’s why I had to develop the habit of feeding the good wolf.
Now here’s the challenge. Let go for one second the things you feel you’re lacking.
Is there anything you enjoy? What makes you grateful?
If you wish, get out your notebook and write down the various points. If you’ve done it, how does it feel? Did you notice any change?
You may say, well, that’s self-help or positive thinking. That’s not working. I agree that positive thinking will not help me to overcome my struggles. But I realized that I feel better when focusing on the good things in my life.
Once I developed the habit of amplifying my positive experiences, I laid the foundation for what comes next.
It’s simple to say but a little challenging to put in place. I choose to be grateful. I noticed that the more I focused on what I was thankful for, the more I became happy.
I needed to learn to enjoy each part of my life. It was — and still is — a challenge to stop thinking that everything will be better once I’m in a relationship. There will be other issues, and once I’m married, I might even believe it was so much better when I was single.
I want to reach my full potential, live my very best, serve others, and give all I have to create a legacy.
On this journey of purpose higher than myself, I found two advantages.
First, I took my eyes off of the things I was lacking. A key to living a fulfilled life is — as the root of this very word tells — to fill my life with something else. Instead of looking for a girlfriend, I started the project that I had always wanted to do. My friends encouraged me, saying: “Go for it because it might be the ride of your life!”
As a single, I have so much time at my disposal. And I take advantage of it, traveling, starting my business, writing the book I’ve been dreaming of, rallying people around the cause I’m fighting for, and studying.
Yes, I agree it’s not always easy as a single. And the happy single life seems out of reach. I’ve often thought there was an easy way out, and someday, the day with no suffering would arrive.
If you believe that, I have to disappoint you. That’s not going to happen.
In fact, I had to learn to cope with challenges, and the chances are that you must too. I will always have unsatisfied needs — as a single or when I get married.
Today’s world is one of instant gratification. My peers influence me, and I’ve often wanted a quick fix. One-click on the web, downloading another app, or getting a dopamine high, browsing through my social media feed.
Relationships require hard work and patience. A quick fix is not available.
My vision changed once I realized that. I understood that my high expectations needed revision.
I learned to endure challenging times as a single since it will prepare me for my subsequent stage in life. My experiences will make me a better husband. Why? I endured hardships, and thus I’m equipped for similar times in my marriage.
There is good news for a single like you and me. I managed to move from a state of survival in which I was feeling lonely and depressed to being happy and fulfilled — and you can do so too!
As a single, you can thrive, move mountains, and use that time to make a remarkable difference. Keep feeding the good wolf. The one that allows you to live a life of kindness, bravery, and love. And yes, you can be a happy single. All it takes is a decision.
Being happy as a single has little to do with my circumstances; it’s a choice.
The choice is up to you!