Are you struggling with being single? Do you feel like it’s hindering your life goals and desires?
If yes, this article is for you. Discover the power of surrendering your desire for marriage to God and finding joy, purpose, and fulfillment in your singleness.
Tom De Long’s journey will inspire you to overcome societal pressures and embrace your season of life.
In the world we live in today, being single can often be seen as a negative thing. Society pressures us to find a partner, settle down, and start a family.
But what happens when that doesn’t happen for you? What if you’re still single, despite your best efforts? It can be frustrating, discouraging, and even isolating.
But our guest today, Tom DeLong, the founder of the Thriving in Singleness Podcast, has a different perspective on singleness. He believes surrendering your desire for marriage to God can lead to a life of joy, purpose, and fulfillment.
In this blog post, we’ll dive into Tom’s story and explore the power of surrender in finding joy in singleness. Let’s get started.
“You got to want what God wants more than you want what you want. Seek out what God wants for you. Because in that, you’re going to find purpose. You’re going to find joy. You’re going to find a lot of incredible things.” — Tom De Long
David: I’m curious, Tom, what led you to start the Thriving and Singleness podcast?
Tom: I get a lot of funny looks when I tell people I run a podcast called Thriving in Singleness, and they know that I’ve been married for eight years. So, I have gotten used to the irony of the fact that I do run this podcast.
But it was really what God taught me before I met my wife and just how God had shaped my heart because I had an unhealthy desire for marriage.
I always wanted it. And even a healthy marriage can be an idol in your life — even a good, godly, Christian-based marriage.
I realized that was something that I kind of built my life around, the idea of getting married someday. God had brought me to a breaking point where I completely surrendered.
Tom: And I said, “If you want me to be single for the rest of my life, I will embrace that. I will do what I feel you made me to do, and I will find ways to glorify you in that.”
I was ready to get my skydiving license and do base jumping.
I was leading young life at that time, and I was considering taking that full time, and all my crazy things I’d done, shaped into some cool stories that were able to gather attention from the youth that I was mentoring and speaking to.
I decided to change my perspective from building my life around the idea of getting married someday to building my life around if I’m going to be single for the rest of my life, then I’m going to make it great. And I’m going to just like go all in on that.
Tom: Two weeks after that that I met my wife. And something I try to make clear to everybody is this: “It’s not a formula.”
I hear it repeatedly about how, you just surrender to the Lord, and then God brings you a spouse. That happens to a lot of people. But that’s not a formula and that’s not what I want it to come across.
As for me, that’s my story. For me, that’s the way that it worked out. But it’s that’s not going to be how it is.
Tom: However, there’s so much benefit in surrendering or submitting your desires to God.
To surrender, God takes that desire and forces you, like kicking and screaming, to just like give it to him, whereas submitting is like God blessing those who can submit because they’re the ones who are just like you know, a guy as I trust you.
My observation is, applying my own experience and what I see in people, is when you are not worried about where life is going to take you, whether it’s marriage or singleness, and you’re ready to embrace whatever God has for you, you become fearless because you’re prepared to take risks. And when you make moves and things don’t pan out, you’re not worried about it, and you’re not desperate.
You got to want what God wants more than what you want. Recognize your idols and how you’re shaping your life around the idol. Seek out what God wants for you. Because in that, you’re going to find purpose and joy.